You’ve probably heard it before — maybe you’ve even said it yourself: “That kid is going to grow up to be a real handful.” We have a strong gut sense that giving children everything they want, never saying no, removing every obstacle before they can encounter it — all of that leads to something dark in adulthood. But is that actually true? And more interestingly, what specifically does it lead to?
A new study published in Current Psychology took a careful look at exactly this question. Researchers Jennifer Vonk, Virgil Zeigler-Hill, and Nyla Griffin at Oakland University asked 720 college students to recall how their parents treated them during childhood — specifically whether their caregivers offered praise, gave them whatever they wanted (indulgence), or pushed them toward status and prestige. Then they measured something called the Dark Triad: three personality dimensions that psychologists consider socially difficult — psychopathy, Machiavellianism, and narcissism.
What they found is striking — and the key is in the distinction between two things parents often confuse: praise and indulgence. These are not the same thing, and it turns out they lead to very different outcomes. Recalled childhood praise — being told you are valued, capable, and worthwhile — predicted lower levels of hostility, impulsivity, and cruelty in adulthood. It was associated with what the researchers call adaptive social traits: healthy confidence, social agency, and emotional stability. Praise, it seems, builds people up in a genuinely useful way.
Recalled childhood indulgence — being given everything you asked for, having no real limits set, being treated as though rules don’t apply to you — predicted something very different. Higher psychopathic meanness. Higher narcissistic antagonism. Higher impulsivity, or what researchers call disinhibition: acting on impulses without considering consequences. The child who was never told “no” grew up with less capacity to regulate behavior and a greater tendency toward cruelty and entitlement.
What makes this research stand out is how precisely it breaks down these personality dimensions. Rather than treating narcissism or psychopathy as a single block, the researchers measured specific facets — antagonism, emotional vulnerability, boldness, meanness — and found that indulgence and praise had opposite effects on nearly every one of them. As lead researcher Vonk told PsyPost: “The fact that high indulgence and low praise seem to predict higher levels of pathological traits… points to the importance of providing children with affirming feedback without engaging in over-indulgence.”
I find this genuinely useful — not just as a piece of research, but as a practical distinction. We tend to think of giving kids positive experiences as one thing. But there is a real difference between affirming a child’s worth and removing every obstacle from their path. One builds self-esteem — an authentic sense of one’s own value that doesn’t depend on always getting what you want. The other builds entitlement, which is something else entirely.
Of course, the study has limits. It relied on how adults remember their childhoods, which isn’t the same as how those childhoods actually were. Memory is reconstructive, and people high in hostile traits may simply recall their parents more negatively. The sample was also mostly white, female, and American college students — so we should be cautious about generalizing. But the pattern is consistent with what developmental psychologists have suspected for a long time.
If you’re studying psychology, I’ve pulled out the key concepts this research illustrates — scroll down to the terms section.
Psychology Terms in This Article
Narcissistic personality disorder — A pattern of grandiosity, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. In this study, childhood indulgence predicted higher scores on narcissistic antagonism — a facet involving entitlement, hostility toward others, and exploitation. This shows how overindulgence may feed the entitlement component of narcissism without producing the full clinical disorder.
Antisocial personality disorder — Characterized by disregard for others’ rights, impulsivity, deception, and lack of remorse. The psychopathic meanness and disinhibition facets measured in this study overlap directly with antisocial traits. The finding that indulgence predicted higher meanness and impulsivity suggests that failing to set limits during development may contribute to the callousness and poor impulse control seen in antisocial behavior.
Self-esteem — A person’s overall evaluation of their own worth and value. The study found that parental praise predicted lower hostile traits and higher social confidence — essentially healthier self-esteem. This supports the idea that self-esteem built on authentic affirmation functions very differently from the inflated self-regard produced by overindulgence.
Trait — A relatively stable characteristic that influences how a person thinks, feels, and behaves across situations. This study used a multi-dimensional trait approach, measuring specific facets of the Dark Triad rather than treating psychopathy or narcissism as single traits. When psychologists study personality, they increasingly break broad traits into narrower components, because different facets can have entirely different developmental origins.
Nature-nurture issue — The long-standing debate about whether psychological characteristics are shaped more by genetic inheritance or by environmental experience. This study is firmly on the nurture side — it examines how specific parenting behaviors correlate with adult personality outcomes. That said, children’s pre-existing temperaments may influence both how parents treat them and how they recall that treatment in adulthood, which is the nature-nurture issue in action.
Temperament — The early-appearing, biologically influenced emotional dispositions that form the foundation of personality. A child’s temperament may partly drive parenting behavior — a difficult child may elicit different parenting than an easy one. This is why correlational studies like this can’t fully separate what parents cause from what parents respond to.
References
Vonk, J., Zeigler-Hill, V., & Griffin, N. (2026). Praise the light, indulge the dark: Parenting strategies and dark personality traits. Current Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-026-09418-6
Dolan, E. W. (2026, May 30). New study links parental indulgence to psychopathic and narcissistic traits in adulthood. PsyPost.
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